Disconsolated Bliss
by KellaOrion
Summary: Harry Gets A Suicidal Cd Player. What the hell is going on? Up rating in l8 chappys...meaning soon! Smut smut yummer!
1. Suicidal Cd Player

Oh yah. You there! Did you know? *whisper whisper whisper* you: WHAT?!?!! YOU DON"T OWN HARRY POTTER OR ANY OTHER CHARACTER? Me: yeah *sighs* I know. It sux don't it?  
  
Speakage: ' ' Musicage: ~ ~ Thoughtage: / / Notage: * *  
  
Authorage Note: -.- Welps this will be nifty. Tell me what you think okay? I'm more on Fiction press now, and these silly half done stories will have to go, ne.? I might continue Brown Hair and Purple Scrunchies.I'll have to find it though..*sighs* This is as if OOTP did exist, but this is the next year...I refuse to believe my FAVORITE character died. Urk. I am so sad. *sniffles*  
  
Disconsolated Bliss.  
  
Rolling over Harry came face-to-face with a large black bird. One, taking the second to realize there's an owl in his bed, and two / three it wasn't Hedwig, and its claws could take his eyes out he scrambled away. Quickly. Onto the floor. The resounding thud didn't wake anyone, with Ron's snoring and Neville's muggle rock music playing in the background. /I really need to get him off of Madness. He's mad himself about the band. Who would have thought me letting him borrow my CD caused his worshiping me to worship them. It's not like I mind. Now only if everyone would bugger off and do that it would be much easier, ne?/  
Anyway, the owl seemed very much amused by the tumble he had received and waited until he got back up. Rubbing his now sore behind, he sternly whispered at the owl. "Now you see here - " The owl cut him off in mid-rant to put its foot in his hand and calmly waited for him to untie the package. "Oh, wow. This is heavy. Sorry about that." Harry quickly untied the package and scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "You could have just said something." The owl replied by rolling its eyes, that deemed to Harry that this owl knew a lot more than he was letting on. Shrugging and giving it a piece of bacon regardless, as Hedwig was full up on whatever she could find, the bird nipped his hand fondly as he jumped to the windowsill and soared outwards into the night.  
Curious to see what it was that couldn't wait until morning, he checked the box and contents for curses. Finding none, he closely examined the box. Hmm.no writing no card.I wonder. /Curiosity Killed the Cat./ 'Hey, if I've lived this many times I might as well take a chance.' Opening the box he found a black Cd player that was magically activated. Curious, he found a small screen on the top of the player. Green lettering wrote,  
  
*Harry, I know you don't know me. I don't want you to know me. But I must tell you this. It's eating me up. I can't keep it in any longer. I want to die Harry. I need to die. This pain, This suffering can't be broken. It's killing me. By the by, this is a note transfer spell. If you'd like to send a note back to my player, put your wand to your throat and say, "Activus" say what you like, then tap the player. No one can see this except you and I. I believe I quite needed this for privacy's sake. That is all. Oh, and listen to the music. I find that if I bleed like that music, I can continue on. Can you see how it goes? I know you have been in situations like that.  
Goodbye Harry, you don't know how much you've done to just listen. Thank you.*  
  
The bright green letters faded slowly. Harry panicking slightly got his wand and muttered the spell. He felt his words being taken out of his throat as he spoke them, or at least tried to.  
*Who are you? I know you don't want me to know, but it's still a necessity. I know you're probably awake, tossing and turning anyway. I know since Sirius died, I've been having a rough time of sleeping. It's not nightmares. Just memories, as if now I know one more person died for bloody me. It makes me feel sick, but then again I've got support. And Hermoine and Ron WILL NOT tolerate me to become a recluse. As much as I want to. Lupin has become a surrogate guardian, seeing as how he was one in the first place. Dumbledore, well.he's nothing now. He's lied a lot. I don't know if I can follow him as blindly as I have done before. Voldielocks? If I may call him that.well. I know it's going to be showdown sometime or another. It's not like it's a big surprise. The priss won't leave me alone.  
Would you like me to be your secret keeper? For the time being anyway? I mean, it's better than you suffering alone. I hate it when others do that. Even though I never listen to my own advice. It's the Gryffindor Way, and all that flak. Loyal. Prideful. It sickens me and I'm the pride of Godric himself! So what do you say?*  
  
He tapped the player tentatively, and he noticed the letters he sent were in silver. Hmm.odd. Although it's probably just a differentiating color. He stared at the cd player and decided to turn it on. He listened to the first few notes and knew it exactly.  
  
~Please come now I think I'm falling  
I'm holding to all I think is safe  
It seems I found the road to nowhere  
And I'm trying to escape  
I yelled back when I heard thunder  
But I'm down to one last breath  
And with it let me say  
Let me say  
  
Hold me now  
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking  
That maybe six feet  
Ain't so far down~  
  
Harry was lost in thought for a few moments, when the Cd player started vibrating. Harry once again panicked on the thought of him breaking the cd player and possibly breaking off the only contact that person in need had. /What a bleeding heart you are./ 'Sod off brain.'  
  
*Okay Harry. I'll let you get into my inner demons a bit. But they're not the Grindylows we studied in DADA. I'm talking about living breathing things that could rip your heart out if you don't watch your step. That's why I won't reveal myself to you. I'm a sixth year. And I'm in some of your classes. We know each other. But not all that well. Don't speculate. Because it won't be who you're guessing. I guaruntee it. And no, I'm not in your soddy Gryffindor house. So don't think its one of your lackeys. I'm just a guy with nothing to lose.*  
  
Harry immediately decided to respond. Halfway through, he erased it and though of something else.  
  
*Hm. Person-who-I-know-not. I want to know if you can send music over the link? Maybe I play what's in my cd player, and you could hear through yours? I don't know if it would work but it should right? Just a guess. And you've got to give me a better thing to call you than Person-who-I-know- not.*  
  
Harry scrambled for his cd collection. He absentmindedly tossed is old cd player into his suitcase but managed to find what he was looking for. He popped the cd in, and the words rushed through the headphones.  
  
~ Believe it or not, everyone have things that they hide  
Believe it or not everyone keeps most things inside  
Believe it or not everyone believes in something above  
Believe it or not everyone needs to feel loved~  
  
Harry waited a few seconds and spoke the verse as it was played.  
  
~Believe it or not most of us feel like we're losing ground  
Believe it or not everyone hates admitting fear  
Believe it or not most of us wanna know why we're here~  
  
Silent tears ran down the teenager's face, as the comfort that Harry gave him washed over him in waves. Half sobbing, he thanked Harry via messaging and told him goodnight. A quick look into the mirror as the bloodshot silver eyes looked back. /Maybe I could dream of the music. No more nightmares. Please./ And the teen drifted off into a dreamless sleep. 


	2. Search For The Maker

Disconsolated Bliss.  
  
Speakage: '' Musicage: ~~ Notage: ** Thoughtage:// Author's Notages: Welps. I'm doing two chapters today. See how you like, ne? I've got this burning need to write this. So I'm going w/ the flow you know? It's actually quite fun. I don't know where the hell this story will lead me. But I'm content to let my imagination to take over for a while, ne? Disclaimers in the first.  
  
Search For the Maker.  
  
Draco woke up and sighed. /What the fuck's the point of this? Honestly. You'd think I'd wake up and realize it's stupid to live/ Looking down at his scarred wrists on otherwise perfect skin. /And that helps how? You know you're just a glutton for pain/ 'Sod off brain.' He was about to roll over when the cd player started to vibrate.  
  
*Feeling better? It's sunny out. You should go out and walk around. It's better to clear your head. And the morning scar process? Ignore it. Hurry up and go eat or do something else. It just makes your day lousy. See you in classes. If I ever figure you out.*  
  
Draco's smile spread. /Okay, go for a walk. It's spring./ Chucking his clothes and all but running to the showers to get dressed he dropped his books off at his first class, Potions. Eating a really quick breakfast he took a long walk all the way down to the giant's hut. Fang came out to greet him, as he always does. 'Fang, you might not want to come out here so freely. We shouldn't be seen together. The talk that would formulate.' Draco laughed at his own innuendo and Fang just wagged his tail all the more. As a final pat and lick was issued, Draco strolled away. He didn't notice the said giant standing smiling from his window.  
  
Harry didn't want to look too obvious. He discreetly looked about the Great Hall while listening to Herm and Ron's playful banter. It has been almost a week with talking regularly with his mystery guy. /He's helped me more than he thinks. And I just had to give him advice. I'm really interested, but I'm still clueless on who this guy is. /Those two should get married soon. They'll both be too tired the next morning to do this crap./ Harry laughed at the ceaseless bickering. As if one, they both turned towards him. 'What, praytell, is so funny Harry Gryffith Potter?' /Ugh. Not with that nickname again! I wish they would stop that!!/ Showing them a disgusted face, he decided it would be appropriate to be brash. /All's fair in love and picking on your friends./ 'Well, to be perfectly honest, I was thinking that it would benefit if you both go get married soon because you'd be too tired to bicker in the morning and I'd get a moment's peace for once.' Ron sputtered up his pumpkin juice, and Hermoine smirked and laughed as she poked his nose. 'You, Harry Potter, will be the death of me.' 'Indeed I will. It's predetermined in the stars, didn't you know that?' Herm rolled her eyes. 'I'm not even going to bother to figure out what got you into this mood.' Harry shrugged helplessy. 'I'm just such a caring, supportive good guy? And I wanted to be more helpful?' After receiving two sound thwacks on the head from both Hermoine and Ron he detested in his teasing. That and the cd player was vibrating under his robes. He took it out and read the message.  
  
*Hey Harry. You're right the walk was great. I needed that. Don't tell me you have scars either. That just makes me worried. Thanks. I'll talk to you later.*  
  
He activated the spell behind his book propped onto the table as if to make it appear to use the learning-by-mumble method. He once again peered around to see if they were making an entrance. The Great Hall's Doors opened just to see the Slytherin Party Train come in lead by none other than the Ice Prince or Princess himself. Harry looked at him confusedly for a moment, and spoke to Squidworth or Squiddy. /I can't believe whomever is writing to me likes muggle cartoons so much. That definitely wouldn't be Malfoy now would it?/  
  
*Hey Squiddy. I've gots a question for ya. Doesn't our Prize of Slytherin look a little pale? Even though where supposed to be mortal enemies and all. It's just that I worry sometimes. Even he deserves someone you know? He's probably all by himself. Think we should look into it? Out of my Gryffindor kindness?*  
  
During the middle of a double Potions, the cd player went off again. Harry looked at his overly competent partner Hermoine and seeing Snape in a taken up state of putting F's gleefully on everyone's papers, he decided to take it out.  
  
*Hey Har, How are you doing? You'd never guess what I just thought of right now. The spell said this should work so let's see.*  
  
Harry felt nothing for a minute, but then a flash of Snape wearing a bikini and the itty bitty bikini song floating in the background as he pranced around. Harry started choking on air, and alarmed a quite many number of students until he stopped. He wiped his eyes. /Oh yeah? I'll get you for that. You're going to regret it./ Harry flicked his wand up to his temple, said the word and then tapped it to his cd player.  
/In it was soft moonlight, and then as Harry turns he sees Dumbledore and Snape snogging in the hallway./ There was a loud gagging sound coming from Malfoy, but Hermoine laughed. "He sniffed that Pixie Dust a bit too hard for his own liking, methinks." Harry sat there puzzled. Then I guess he just randomly thought of Snape. Or mayhap he knew I was in the class. Hm..Guess I'm taking a trip to the library.  
The rest of the day passed without so much as a peep from Squiddy. Except in Professor Binns class just before one of the biggest Slytherin pranks blasted into motion. He told me to duck. I did, and the pie suspiciously sent in my exact direction went to Ron instead. /Welp. I can't say I'm too sorry. Ron does look funny with a stained blue face. Although now I know that he definitely is in Slytherin. And he's in the know since most of Salazar's henchmen look faintly surprised. Definitely going to figure this one out.  
Sitting with a book in his lap in the library, he pondered gently and grabbed his cd player.  
*Squids. Are you muggle born? Or just have an obsession of everything non-magic?*  
*Honestly? Or the perfectly acceptable lie?*  
*I'm a Gryffindor. What do you think?*  
*I'm a pureblood, yet my father has a secret interest in muggle television. He likes "Buffy" and Friends. Why?*  
*No reason. Just wondering. Okay a general run down. You're definitely in Slytherin. You're in both History, Potions, and Magical Care of Creatures with me. You're a guy, judging the prank. That all?*  
*Hmm.Yeaassss. But I still know much more about you. There's oh about 35 Slytherins that fit that.*  
*Oh, did I mention? I read up on your spell. You have gray eyes, don't you? That narrows you down doesn't it? * 


	3. Truth Seeker

Disconsolated Bliss  
  
Speakage: '' Notage:** Thoughtage:// Musicage:~~  
  
Author's Note: Easy Chapter ne? Poor Draco. He's screwed royally now. *grins* It's okay Draco. We'll get you out of this ickle pickle soon. *Pats him on the back sympathetically* Draco: Are you insinuating I have an ickle pickle bitch? Me: Nu nu! *wide eyed innocence* Aa Aa. Not guilty! Oh and all the musicage is not my music.  
  
Truth Seeker  
  
Draco looked up from the message in the common room. /Oh Shit Oh Shit Oh Shit Oh SHIT! I fucked everything over. I need him to get through my depression! He's been a god-send these last few days. Shit shit shit/ Draco started banging his head against the wall. /Stupid/ bang /Bloody/ bang /Fuckwad/ bang.  
  
*You know, Squiddy. There's no need for the head-banging. You'll bloody make my tower topple if you keep that up.*  
  
Draco looked horrified. He quickly sent back. *What mean you?* *Methinks you should stop panicking. And methinks you should smile. Remember that song I sent you? "I'm Too Sexy? It seems to match you perfectly. And now I know why. Put your headphones on Squids.*  
  
Draco gulped audibly and put the headphones on.  
  
~I like your pants around you feet  
And I like the dirt that's on your knees  
And I like the way you still say please  
While you're looking up at me~  
  
Draco sat confused for while, until he heard the words he was dreading.  
  
~And now I know who you are  
It wasn't that hard  
Just to figure you out  
Now I did, you wonder why~  
  
Then the volume was put down and a side of his earphones was moved and he heard a raspy but oh-so-very-Harry voice in his ear. 'And I like the way you're not impressed,' his voice got softer with humor 'While you put me to the test, I like the white stains on your dress I love the way you pass the check.' Draco then heard Harry smile. 'And I love the good times you wreck, And I love your lack of self respect, While you're passed out on the deck.' /Obviously, I've very much got a problem now. He knows my secret. And does he want me? That's odd. The Almighty One being gay? Hmm.Odd./  
Draco didn't have much time to ponder since a now invisible hand tugged him incesiantly towards his bedroom. Draco whispered the prefects password and the door swung open obediently. He said on his bed despairingly and in shock, while none other than Harry Almighty Potter emerged underneath his Invisibility Cloak. His green eyes looked up to me hopefully and grinned. I must have looked mortified. /Don't cry. Don't Cry. Don't Cry/ That silent mantra was all that I had. /How could you be so stupid? Admitting this to your mortal enemy. Well, Satan-man is my mortal enemy. He's just a peer enemy./  
Harry looked towards Draco and softly sang, 'You can be my secret sin, You can be my downfall. You can be with me because you know my pain, And that will keep us from never leaving.' After getting no response from the now mute Draco, Harry kneeled in front of him. 'Draco? Hey, don't be upset. I know how you feel. Just let it go okay?' Harry took one of Draco's wrists in his hand and kissed it lightly. He touched the tip of the wand to all of them except one.  
'Draco, if there's two things you learn. One, the impossible is possible. And two, there is always hope.' Panicking Draco saw all the scars disappear completely. 'Those aren't yours to fix Potter!' He whispered vhenemently because Blaise was still in the room. Harry arched his eyebrow, touched his vocal chords and tapped the cd player in his lap. It was Draco's, and the lettering turned to a dark red.  
* I didn't know Draco Malfoy himself would go running like a school girl from me fixing his wrists. I'm sorry if I thought you had more guts than that.*  
* Trust me, Harry. There's a lot more that I'm scared of. That is my way of venting. Why the fuck would you do that for? That's to make me feel better!!!*  
  
Harry looked at him skeptically. Draco looked down to his newest cut, still a bit oozing. Harry lightly rubbed off the newly formed scab and put his hand in Draco's. Harry looked at him and leaned into touch his forehead against Draco's. Draco opened his eyes in surprise at the sensation his wrist was giving off. Awareness flooded through him, and he looked in Harry's earnest eyes. 'What's happening Har?' 'Well Squiddy, I'm giving you a blood bond with me.' He grinned back, 'I thought it would be fitting since we are both entrusted with the other's secret, ne? Hermoine would kill me if she knew I cut.' 'What? No Weasel?' Harry laughed. 'No, he understands. He just checks it over so I won't die.' 'How supportive. Letting your friend die.' Harry shot a warning glare. 'Don't test me Squiddy.' Draco smirked. 'Oh really now?' 'Yes. We've got to be friends now you know that right?'  
Draco sighed in much sufferance. 'I suppose mop-head.' 'Well you're no better engine-greaser.' Draco looked horrified. 'Is that what they really say about me???' 'Sometimes. They're just jealous they can't get into your pants I reckon' 'Are you trying to get into my pants, mop-head?' 'Wouldn't dream of it. I'd just order them off.' Draco laughed and sobered quickly. The piercing pain in his wrist made his eyes water. Harry looked a bit pained himself.  
Draco looked at Harry's loving face and smiled through his tears. Then he just broke down and cried. /I haven't cried in a while, with the exception of recent. Mayhap when I was five, or six? I don't remember when Luicius beat me into not crying./  
Harry continually rubbed Draco's back and said over and over, 'It's okay Drake, no one will ever hurt you. It's okay, let it all out. I'm here.' Draco cried himself to sleep, and luckily for the locking charm on Draco's bed, no one could enter. Harry kept a steady watch over him until he too got taken by sleep. 


	4. Morning After

I just wanted to thank Mitchell for getting me to write again…oh man..it's been crazy…a crazy while. But I'm back! To write much much more! Draco: ssavvee usss! Disclaimers in first chapter.

Speakage: '' Notage: Thoughtage/ Musicage:

Chapter Four: The Morning After

/what. The. Fuck./ Harry opened his eyes. He blinked. And he blinked again. /What…the..fuck/Yeah…you said it enough times…and it'll sink in. In four…three…two…one/

"AHHHHHH!"

Draco likes to sleep. Draco does not like to miss his beauty sleep. Draco does not like loud noises. Loud noises make Draco twitchy. Draco especially does not like being woken up by said loud noises. Therefore, Draco hexed Harry.

"Now what the hell are you making all that noise for?" Harry glares as he vomits up a few more slugs. "Look –gurgle slug slurp slug slug- at your –belch- arm." And so Draco does. What Draco finds does not make Draco happy. Draco faints.

So about three hours later, having fixed the hex on Harry, and reviving Draco, the pair set off for the kitchens to enjoy their missed meals. "This is great. I think that we should take the rest of the day off, don't you think?" Draco looked around interested at all the scurrying house elves. After having their six course meal, topped off with the largest pieces of cake imaginable, (all courtesy of Dobby) the two were relaxing.

Draco looked down at the small lightning bolt scar across his wrist. "You think this is permanent? I mean…I may not have had the Dark Mark yet, but shit Harry. This is going to be hard to explain." /And whenever my mother finds out, she'll throw me a party because she'll think her baby finally got some ass/Speaking of ass/ "Sod off, brain."

"What was that Draco?"

"Nothing…just never mind."

"… Anyway, I'm afraid it's rather permanent. Here's the cool thing about a blood blond. We get mutual benefits. We can basically leech off of each other if we need to for strength and magical capabilities, but there's only one condition."

"Potter…I swear to Merlin –

"Shut up Draco; don't get your knickers in a twist. What I'm saying is that we have to keep the promise that we made to each other. This means to keep our secret from everyone else."

"Does this mean I'm going to have to keep you locked up somewhere so you don't spill it to your bleeding heart Gryffinwhores?"

Harry decided to have some fun with Draco. He batted his eyes and maintained a coy expression, "Oh I didn't know that's how you played Drakey. Of course I'd love to be locked up for you to play with. Just make sure the pain doesn't override the, well, you know."

Draco's expression was priceless to Harry. It was glazed over, but then it turned this splotchy red color, then hell hath no fury like an enraged Draco Malfoy.

An hour later, as Harry was still recovering from the jelly-legs hex that Draco had unleashed upon him, they got to talk about what was the most difficult issue at hand to deal with. Since Draco felt like listening, Harry just laid it all out. "Well…I'm gay. That worries me. No that doesn't worry me, that petrifies me."

"Dear Merlin Harry! You're afraid of coming out of the closet, but you're not afraid of the fucking He-Who-Will-Not-Get-Laid?"

"Well...I don't think I've ever heard Voldemort called that one before. Good one."

"Really? I thought it was fitting, but I think it's true. He just needs to get laid."

"What are you on? You gonna lay down and offer?"

"Definitely not! Red eyes clash with gray. The wedding photos would be all off. Can't say I'm for the body figure either."

"That's sick Dray, that's just wrong."

"Seriously though, what's so scary about coming out Harry?"

"Well, it's the acceptance thing of course. The best friends would be O.K. with it, so will the Weasley's I guess. Charlie's gay by the way, since he's the one who tuned me into myself, really."

"What do you mean by that?"

"OooOoh. Someone's possessive."

"I am not. I'm just wondering about that very abstract statement."

"It's nothing. It's just the negative press it would get. I'd be called all over the world to get interviewed, do talk shows, the like. Not to mention, I don't actually want to see a sex toy with my face being printed on it, yanno?"

Draco snorted and slung a shoulder over Harry. "Harry? To be honest, you're not so bad. But you've got a vain streak in you a mile wide." Harry's affronted look failed to stop his comment. "You care more about what people would say, than being afraid of having to save the whole damn wizarding universe."

That started them both laughing, and they left the kitchens with time to spare the last class of the day Care of magical creatures.


End file.
